Many women may encounter painful intercourse during their lifetime, but there are ways to seek assistance from medical professionals or a partner. Sign up for CNN’s Life, But Better newsletter for tips on enhancing your well-being. When Nicole first experienced pain during intercourse nearly ten years ago, she was determined to find a solution. After consulting various specialists, she was diagnosed with labial hypoplasia, a condition where her outer labia were underdeveloped. Following corrective surgery, she found relief and added yoga to her routine for further healing. However, the pain resurfaced six years later, this time during initial penetration. Despite three years of struggling to obtain a formal diagnosis, the cause of her discomfort remains unclear. Nicole, a 33-year-old from California, preferred using only her first name due to privacy concerns. She expressed frustration at being dismissed with suggestions that her pain was anxiety-related. Painful sex is a common experience, with nearly 3 in 4 women encountering it at some point, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Sex therapist Eva Dillon emphasized that sex should not cause pain. Painful intercourse can result from various issues, including tight pelvic floor muscles. Dr. Anna Falter, a physical therapist specializing in pelvic floor therapy at the Cleveland Clinic, explained that tight pelvic floor muscles can lead to tension and pain. This pain can be connected to tightness in other body areas like the neck, lower back, and hips, as well as to factors such as stress, surgeries, trauma, or muscle tension. Hormonal changes, like decreased estrogen levels during menopause or postpartum, can cause vaginal dryness, making intercourse uncomfortable or painful. For women with pelvic floor muscle tension, pelvic floor physical therapy can help reduce pain and prevent muscles from becoming overly tight in the future. One common technique is trigger point therapy, where pressure is applied to tight muscles to promote relaxation. Patients can also learn self-trigger point release techniques at home using fingers, partners, or specific tools. Partners are encouraged to attend therapy sessions to learn how to support their loved one.
Pelvic floor lengthening exercises, as explained by Falter, are different from the more well-known Kegel exercises. Lengthening exercises involve relaxing the pelvic floor muscles, often combined with deep diaphragmatic breathing. This challenging movement requires proper form, so Falter recommends consulting a pelvic floor physical therapist for assistance. Falter also suggests regularly checking in with your body throughout the day to ensure you are not unintentionally tensing your pelvic muscles during daily activities like brushing your teeth or sitting on the couch. Certain yoga poses and stretches, such as child’s pose, butterfly stretch, and deep squat, can help release pelvic tension. However, personalized treatment is always the best approach, according to Falter.
In cases where a partner is experiencing pain during sexual activity, it is essential to prioritize comfort and support. If there is any discomfort during intercourse, it is crucial to stop immediately to avoid associating sex with pain. Open communication between partners is key, especially in addressing any shame or feelings of inadequacy that may arise. Partners should take the time to understand and support each other through the treatment process, as recommended by Falter.
For couples unable to engage in intercourse temporarily, alternatives like outercourse can help maintain physical intimacy. Other gestures such as meaningful kisses and affectionate hugs can strengthen the emotional bond between partners, even when sexual activity is not possible.
Despite challenges and frustrations, individuals like Nicole are not giving up on seeking fulfilling intimate relationships. By exploring alternative solutions and incorporating pelvic floor therapies, they aim to address pain and maintain intimacy with their partners. Education and understanding play a crucial role in navigating such situations and fostering closeness in relationships.
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