Skye Eddy, a former USWNT hopeful turned sports parent advocate, laments the negative impact of overzealous sports parents who disrupt the experience for everyone involved. These parents often live vicariously through their children, harbor unrealistic expectations of their athletic performance, or exhibit unreasonable behavior that hampers communication and understanding.
Eddy recalls the challenges she faced as a coach when dealing with irrational parents who consumed excessive time and energy with endless inquiries, leading to a difficult season. Even Eddy, a decorated soccer player and coach, found herself unfairly categorized as a problematic parent, further fueling her passion to create soccerparenting.com. This platform, boasting 43,000 members, aims to bridge the gap between coaches and parents, offering guidance and support to foster better relationships and alleviate stress in youth sports.
Acknowledging the prevalent stress faced by parents today, Eddy emphasizes the need for introspection in sports parenting. By understanding that each child’s sports journey is unique and necessitates a tailored approach, parents can minimize pressure and better support their children. Eddy illustrates this with her own experience guiding her daughter, Cali, through her soccer aspirations, realizing the importance of decoupling her expectations from her daughter’s pursuits and allowing her to navigate her path independently.
Eddy’s insights highlight the significance of parental perspective in enhancing the sports environment for young athletes. By prioritizing understanding, communication, and individual growth, parents can positively impact their children’s sports experiences while fostering a supportive and balanced approach to sports parenting.
Choosing the right food, or attending a sleepover the night before and performing poorly. “I believe that as parents, we tend to feel immense pressure, leading us to intervene excessively.” But how can we change our approach? The transformation can begin with our behavior on the sidelines, particularly when our children are very young. Your actions on the sideline might help alleviate your stress, but may hinder your child’s development. You may not even realize that you are stressed during your kids’ games, but unintentionally, you may be transferring that stress to them. Cheering loudly, jumping up and down on the bleachers, calling out to them, interfering – these are signs of stress, according to Eddy. Soccer Parenting’s Sideline Project categorizes three types of sideline behaviors: “supportive,” “hostile,” and “distracting.” Being “supportive” involves sitting in attentive silence, cheering for positive outcomes for your child and their teammates, and even acknowledging good plays from the opposing team. On the other hand, being “hostile” includes yelling at referees, your child, or other players. The issue of being “distracting” arises when you give specific instructions to your child during the game. This behavior is primarily aimed at easing parental stress rather than aiding the child’s development. Eddy emphasizes the importance of allowing players to focus on their teammates and coach, rather than being distracted by parents. A good youth coach should provide subtle cues – like a nod or a whistle – to prompt players to implement what they’ve practiced. By being less distracting, the truly hostile parents become more apparent. Some parents may exhibit hostile behavior on the sidelines, impacting the overall youth sports experience. The focus should be on correcting distracting behavior. The U.S. soccer community has updated its policies regarding referee abuse in youth and amateur soccer, enforcing suspensions ranging from two games to a lifetime ban for those who mistreat sports officials. It’s essential to report such individuals and have them removed from the sporting environment. Personally, I enjoy sitting among opposing team fans during my sons’ baseball games to gain a different perspective and connect with others. Listening to their emotions helps me remember why we are all involved in sports – because we care.
Eddy emphasizes the importance of communication in sports. She shares her experience of Cali quitting soccer briefly at the age of eight due to boredom with the repetitive practices and lack of adequate instruction in what was supposed to be an advanced development program. This led Eddy to start a website aimed at helping parents and coaches better understand each other to create a positive learning environment for young athletes.
She stresses the need for parents to know what a good learning environment in sports looks like to inspire and bring joy to players. Eddy highlights the significance of parent-coach interaction with clear boundaries. She outlines suggested parameters for coaches, such as being open to discussing issues like a child’s mood after practice but closed to complaints about other players or questioning tactical decisions.
Eddy also shares advice from Coach Steve on how to handle stress during games and avoid making impulsive comments. She mentions a parent’s perspective on being mindful of their behavior at games and practices, letting the coach and referee do their jobs without unnecessary interference.
Eddy and other parents stress the importance of understanding and following the rules, reflecting on our actions, and remaining calm to reduce stress and promote a positive experience for young athletes.
Understand your child’s sports goals and be open-minded when other kids excel. Factors like relative age effect and diverse physical activities can influence skill development. Remember that kids are still kids and enjoy watching their growth.
Reflect on your own childhood sports experiences and consider the balance between structured training and free play. Support your child’s interests and allow them to make choices in their sports journey.
Prioritize development over wins in youth sports rankings. Embrace the diverse paths that children take in sports and focus on their personal growth.
Coach Steve, a sports parent and writer, emphasizes the importance of letting kids lead in their sports involvement. Encourage a healthy balance between sports and other activities, respecting your child’s voice and choices.
