The Reddit user proceeded to outline several reasons supporting the potential decision to forgo attending the destination wedding, commencing with its inconvenient date and location. “She scheduled the wedding for a Monday. This implies that I would have to take two days off from work to be present,” the individual detailed. “She chose to have the wedding outside our home state so she could tie the knot on a boat, which means I will have to shell out $500 on plane tickets, not to mention additional expenses for accommodation.” Even if the user could afford the additional costs for the “group vacation,” embarking on a cruise is unfeasible due to their dietary restrictions. “I am autistic and adhere to a strict diet at specific times. I have been informed that the cruise ship will prohibit me from bringing homemade food onboard, leaving me with limited options from a menu that doesn’t cater to my needs,” the family member disclosed.
Furthermore, the couple failed to formally extend an invitation to them. The user only became aware of the wedding when the bride informed their grandparents, who require medical attention, that the Redditor would assist in transporting them across the state. “She hasn’t directly invited me, even to this day,” they revealed. “She told my grandparents that I could aid in their transportation since I am the sole family member with a driver’s license and without dependents to care for.”
Complicating matters, the user’s grandfather is undergoing dialysis, necessitating stops at a medical facility “at least once both ways” for his treatment. “I believe that since this is her wedding, it is her responsibility to secure suitable care for our grandparents, rather than assigning it to me,” the family member expressed. “This situation also makes me feel obligated to attend the wedding to avoid being guilt-tripped about not offering assistance.”
Adding to the dilemma, the user has scant acquaintance with the groom, having only encountered him twice. The groom and bride had dated for a period of nine months before becoming engaged. In the feedback section, the bride’s sibling remarked that “any other location would have sufficed” and opined that their sister did not demonstrate appreciation for any of the wedding attendees, otherwise, “she would have made different arrangements.”
A majority of Reddit participants indicated that it would be reasonable to forego the wedding due to the substantial travel demands during a workweek and the lack of suitable provisions. However, concern was expressed for the grandparents, who might lack the resources for alternative arrangements. “If you are aware that attendance poses a burden on the invitee — be it financial, medical, or otherwise — then attendance cannot be presumed,” one user asserted. “If the bride/groom does not implement measures to alleviate those burdens, they can only expect understanding if such obstacles are insurmountable.”
The original article was published on People.
