Is it really such a problem if screens keep children entertained and give adults a break? It may not look great when a teenager is glued to a screen while dining out with their parents, or when a preschooler watches cartoons in a high chair at a restaurant. Despite being aware of these optics, my own children – aged 12, six, and three – often end up watching a tablet or my phone when we go out to eat. It’s a quick and convenient way to keep them sitting quietly in public, but it doesn’t earn me any approval from fellow diners. There’s always someone nearby who disapproves of screens in restaurants.
For example, during the Easter holidays at a pub in Somerset, a couple in their 60s took offense to my youngest watching a show on my phone and scolded me for “rotting his brain.” They suggested that I should be engaging him in conversation instead, mentioning that they bring books and games when out with their grandchildren. I couldn’t help but think, good luck with that. The children were tired and hungry after a long walk, and I was enjoying chatting with my husband and 12-year-old, Gemma.
When dining out, I prefer to have some moments of peace without constantly entertaining the kids, especially when with a friend who doesn’t have children. Screens can provide that opportunity for adults to catch up undisturbed. While I understand the guidelines from the World Health Organisation regarding screen time limits for young children, my kids never have screens at mealtimes at home, and I don’t allow screen time to replace other activities.
I admit that we resort to screens in restaurants as a last option after trying other methods to keep the children occupied. It’s important to use headphones and consider the volume when allowing screens in public spaces. While it can be challenging to wean them off screens after they’ve started, I find that once the food arrives, they usually focus on eating.
Despite some disapproving looks from others, my parents understand the need for screens as a parenting tool in certain situations. They recognize that children can be energetic and that screens can help maintain a peaceful dining environment. However, some of their friends prefer not to use screens during meals and feel proud of it.
The previous generation parented without screens, successfully navigating restaurants and long flights without relying on Peppa Pig. They reflect, “We just had to make do. Children read books, played outside, or engaged in actual conversations.” Back in the late 1980s when I was growing up, dining out wasn’t as common as it is today, just like taking kids on luxury holidays to destinations like Dubai or the Maldives.
Peppa Pig has become a popular tool for keeping toddlers quiet in restaurants, as seen on Channel 5. When my family did dine out occasionally at places like Happy Eater or the local pub, it felt special. My siblings and I would play in the outdoor playground, often finding it littered with cigarette butts and beer cans, along with some rundown swings.
I feel that allowing my children to watch something on an iPad at the table is safer than my unsupervised playground adventures near a busy road or being left alone in the car during meals in the 80s. So, when I witness overwhelmed parents trying to entertain their kids at a fancy restaurant, I think they should consider using screens or just go home.
Introducing screens in restaurants to young children doesn’t necessarily create a lifelong habit. As kids grow older, around seven, eight, or nine, they learn to sit quietly and engage in conversations. I teach my 12-year-old daughter, Gemma, to use her phone responsibly, meaning it’s rude to be on it constantly during family outings.
I don’t see the need for screens in restaurants to serve as a test of good parenting. To those who judge me, I dare you to take a preschooler out for lunch without an iPad – it’s draining. Instead, we enjoy dining out as a family, creating a relaxing atmosphere where everyone can unwind. And if using an iPad helps maintain that peace, then why not?
Article excerpt by Anna Tyzack.
