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Looking to spice up your love life? According to esteemed human sexuality expert Dr. William Yarber, sharing your desires with your partner is key. In his 41st year of teaching at Indiana University, Dr. Yarber emphasizes the importance of open communication by asking, “How do you like to be touched?” and reciprocating with, “Here’s how I like to be touched.”
Describing the core of sexuality as the exchange of pleasurable touch, 81-year-old Yarber, also the lead author of the widely-used textbook “Human Sexuality: Diversity in Contemporary Society,” underlines the significance of this intimate connection in relationships.
Some of Dr. Yarber’s students have implemented his advice and witnessed positive changes in their intimacy and satisfaction levels, strengthening their bond with their partners over time.
After the passing of his wife, Margaret Covher, in August 2021, Yarber, who had been her caretaker following her stroke in 2017, now seeks a new romantic relationship. His longing for companionship and a deep emotional connection resonates with his friends, who attest to his remarkable qualities and unwavering compassion for others.
Navigating the realm of senior romance may pose unique challenges due to the limited pool of potential partners, but Yarber remains hopeful and open to building a vibrant and affectionate bond with a like-minded individual who shares his zest for life.
As societal trends reveal high rates of loneliness, particularly among older adults, the quest for love in later stages of life requires a touch of creativity and an open mind to connect with individuals from diverse age groups, expanding horizons beyond one’s immediate circle.
“They know. I think a lot of us can talk about that in our own lives and relate to that (idea of the) person who sets you up with somebody else.” ‘An entirely new arena for courtship’ Yarber describes himself as an optimist who works hard at taking care of his physical and mental health. – Laura Oliverio/CNN Yarber has tried this intergenerational approach, primarily through his university colleagues, though he draws the line with receiving help from well-meaning students. He’s also tried to navigate dating apps, which didn’t exist when he last dated. “Dating apps and websites are the most common way singles today are meeting partners, and that is true across a wide range of demographics, including for those 50 years of age and older, who have been a rapidly growing demographic of dating app users,” Garcia said. “For many older singles, this is an entirely new arena for courtship,” he added. “While they may know what they want, and how they want to interact, the tools for finding someone and for letting yourself be found” are new. The limits Yarber is putting on his search may be thwarting his efforts. He would prefer to stay in Bloomington, Indiana, where he teaches, but he’s not closing the door entirely to the idea of moving. “I’m not looking for that situation, but it could happen,” he said. Yarber considers himself an optimist who works hard at taking care of his physical and mental health. For those who might be interested, he told CNN that he’s in “good shape for my age” and has “a good diet” that makes him look a bit younger than people might expect. He also wants more than companionship. Yarber agrees with the majority of older adults who say that sex is an important part of a romantic relationship at any age and it’s easy for him to envision his daily routine when he finds this elusive new partner. “Oh, it just changes my life,” he said, smiling. “I have more zip in my step!” Allison Gilbert is coauthor of “The Joy of Connections” and an Emmy Award-winning journalist. Follow her at @agilbertwriter. For more CNN news and newsletters create an account at CNN.com
