“Hearst Magazines and Yahoo may earn commission or revenue on some items through the links provided. The trend of reducing alcohol consumption is on the rise, with many individuals identifying as sober curious, soberish, or California sober. Factors such as hangovers, hangxiety, and the known carcinogenic properties of alcohol are prompting people to reassess their relationship with alcohol. However, cutting back on alcohol consumption can be challenging, especially when it is deeply ingrained in social settings. Alcohol often takes center stage at various events, from sports games to social gatherings, making it difficult to navigate situations without it. Author Hilary Sheinbaum notes that alcohol has become a central figure in both celebratory and somber occasions, permeating various aspects of social interactions. Despite the pervasive presence of alcohol in society, there is a growing interest in reevaluating its role. Choosing to drink less or abstain may elicit inquiries from others, but it is important to approach these discussions with compassion and not take them personally. It is common to project assumptions about how others perceive our choices, but these assumptions are not always accurate. Concerns about how friends may react to non-drinking behaviors can be alleviated by maintaining engagement and presence in social interactions. Ultimately, untangling alcohol from social life can be a transformative journey.”
According to Sheinbaum, who practices being sober curious herself and only drinks about once a month, cutting down on alcohol can lead to benefits such as improved sleep, digestion, and financial savings. Fortunately, expert advice is available to make reducing alcohol consumption much easier.
Meet the experts: Hilary Sheinbaum, a journalist and the founder of GoingDry.co, has authored books like The Dry Challenge and Going Dry: A Workbook to help individuals drink less. Leah Young, LCPC, is the Clinical Manager at Pathlight Mood & Anxiety Center. Shani Gardner, LCSW, is the founder of Soulful Grace Therapy. Hayley Treloar Padovano, PhD, is an associate professor at Brown University’s Center for Alcohol and Addiction Studies.
Here are six tips to decenter alcohol from your life:
1. Prepare responses in advance for turning down alcohol. Young suggests having a brief and confident reply ready when offered alcohol at events to avoid drawing attention to your decision not to drink.
2. Delay your first drink by 30 minutes to challenge the habit of immediately ordering alcohol upon arrival. This can help you realize that you can navigate social situations without relying on alcohol.
3. Take the lead in ordering drinks or making plans to influence the choices of those around you.
You have the freedom to enjoy a drink without alcohol. Lead the way by ordering a creative mocktail, house-made lemonade, or a classic Shirley Temple. Your friends may be inspired to do the same. (Bonus tip: Choose a restaurant with plenty of tasty non-alcoholic options.) Take charge by hosting gatherings or suggesting activities where alcohol isn’t the focus, suggests Young. Game nights, craft activities, bowling, museum visits, and pottery classes are all enjoyable without alcohol, though your friends may bring some anyway.
You can make a difference by serving up a fantastic mocktail and offering engaging activities that don’t revolve around drinking. “Anything hands-on or physical can be fun,” says Gardner. “Imagine trying to throw a wheel while drinking alcohol—it would be quite challenging.” When the main event isn’t centered on going to a bar, the pressure to drink is reduced.
Remember, drinking is just one of many ways to spend time with loved ones, according to Gardner. Introducing variety can help lower your alcohol consumption and introduce you to new interests.
Clarify your intentions to supportive friends and ask for the assistance you need. While you don’t have to disclose your drinking habits to everyone, confiding in a few trustworthy friends is valuable, advises Treloar Padovano. “Find a supporter,” she suggests, someone who is encouraging of your goals.
Before heading out, have an open conversation with a friend about your objectives and the support you seek. It doesn’t have to be a serious discussion. Simply mention that you’re trying to cut back on drinking and explain why. Sharing your intentions can lead to discovering that some friends feel the same way, providing comfort and reinforcement. Having an ally can be helpful in deflecting or supporting you if others question your choice to abstain, notes Young.
Discussing your plans in advance with friends can help manage expectations and prevent awkward situations later on. If alcohol is typically involved in social plans, communicate your decision not to drink early on. Additionally, explore alternative techniques to ease your nerves in social settings, such as listening to uplifting music or practicing a brief meditation.
By finding healthier ways to achieve the same effects as alcohol, you can feel more at ease and confident in social settings. Embrace new strategies to boost your confidence and manage stress without relying on alcohol.
Now may be an opportune moment to reach out to the friend to whom you’ve confided your goals of reducing your alcohol intake. They might just be the ultimate cheerleader you need. “You’ll have to find what works for you, but it starts with identifying what you’re using alcohol for and finding an alternative,” advises Gardner.
Consider embarking on a dry challenge. While quitting alcohol cold turkey may not be suitable for everyone, a brief period of abstinence could be a beneficial way to disrupt your drinking patterns and create lasting change. “In some ways, not drinking at all is easier because it removes the decision-making process,” notes Treloar Padovano. Establishing a clear boundary might simplify the process of consuming less alcohol, sparing you the need to negotiate your intake each time.
For Sheinbaum, participating in a dry challenge began as a friendly competition but evolved into something more profound. “I’m a determined Aries, so I wholeheartedly committed to this challenge,” she recounts. Despite technically winning by abstaining from alcohol for the entire month while her friend indulged in a cocktail (and ended up treating her to an $800 dinner), both Sheinbaum and her friend reaped rewards. “I believe we both emerged as winners because it completely altered my perspective on how alcohol impacts my mind, body, mood, life, and career,” she reflects.
Engaging in initiatives like Dry January and Sober October, where individuals abstain from alcohol for a set period, can provide a ready-made explanation for your sobriety and ensure you’re not alone in your decision-making process. Partnering with a friend for a dry challenge offers built-in support for encouragement and shared frustrations.
Moreover, setting a specific timeframe for abstaining from alcohol allows you to monitor your progress daily, as Sheinbaum points out. Each day you progress towards your goal simply by forgoing that post-work glass of wine. She adds that the benefits become apparent quickly: “Within the first ten days, I noticed improved sleep and better skin.”
It’s important to note that this article is intended for individuals seeking to redefine their social relationship with alcohol. If you are struggling with addiction, seek immediate assistance from emergency hotlines, counseling services, or treatment facilities.
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