When you build and style a home with other people, whether they are roommates, a partner or children, you often have to make a lot of compromises. This is also true for professional designers. So, how do they make it work?
We spoke with some design experts to understand the changes they’ve had to make in their own homes and how they found solutions that suited everyone.
Here are the experts:
Steven Graffam and John Stivale, interior designers and the people who started Stivale Graffam Home together, talk about how to manage design differences in shared living spaces.
Be flexible:
As interior designer Steven Graffam says, it can be hard to live with a partner who has a different taste in design. This challenge is made even harder when both people are design professionals. Graffam jokes, “Living with another designer means always having to compromise on ideas! I may love certain art styles, but my partner may not, and he once bought some furniture without asking me.”
However, Graffam says that it’s important to keep an open mind and be willing to adapt. “We both understand that we can change or adjust everything whenever we need to. Being flexible and open-minded is important for us to get along,” he explains.
Look for inspiration:
Art can be a controversial part of interior design. John Stivale from Chelius House of Design talks about a useful lesson he learned when he had to deal with different people’s art preferences in a shared living space. Stivale chose to make this piece the main focus of the room, rather than hiding it away. He says that sometimes, if you put a lot of tension into a picture, it can look really good, like a piece of art that has been well-made.
Make compromises:
When you’re designing something, you have to make compromises. For Graffam, the dream of an open-concept kitchen had to be put to one side in favour of the current living space. To make it feel open, he used lighter colours, open shelves and mirrors to reflect light. While it wasn’t the best situation, these changes made the space feel bigger and more connected.
Try to see things from each other’s perspective:
It can be hard to find things you both like when you live with someone who has very different design tastes to you. Stivale suggests starting with neutral paint colours and working together on a shared Pinterest board to find out what everyone likes. If you focus on the big design decisions together, it becomes easier to compromise on individual pieces that may not fit with your vision. Stivale jokingly remembers a swap he made, giving up his swords for velvet curtains – everyone was happy, except the swords.
Embrace Different Viewpoints:
It’s normal to have a vision for a space, but being open to different ideas can make it much more beautiful.
When you’re working in natural light instead of artificial light, disagreements about design can sometimes get heated. It might be helpful to rethink your goals. Stivale says he has changed how he thinks about this issue. Instead of trying to win, the aim is to blend in. “It’s really important to compromise when you’re trying to create nice shared spaces,” he says. “Maybe your partner likes bright colours, but you prefer plain ones. This isn’t a disaster — it’s a chance to create something new and better.” Graffam thinks the same. “The most successful spaces combine both narratives—and the strongest relationships honour both perspectives,” he says. You can find the original article on The Spruce.
