Editor’s Note: One Small Thing is a new series aimed at helping you take a simple step towards a healthy, impactful goal. By trying just one thing, you can start moving in the right direction.
When my daughters were 6 and 10, I made a conscious decision to avoid using my personal electronic devices (laptop, smartphone) while in their presence. I set a challenge for myself to do this for a month, as I had found success in experimenting with monthly resolutions rather than the more common annual New Year’s resolutions.
Although it was occasionally inconvenient and at times even comical – like the routine of quickly shutting and reopening my computer as my kids entered and exited the room – the effort was well worth it. When I absolutely needed to be on a screen (mostly for work), I made sure to communicate this to my daughters so they didn’t feel like they were competing with technology for my attention.
Out of the 12 micro-resolutions I tried that year, reducing screen time was the most impactful. It helped me realize how often I was unintentionally neglecting my children for the sake of my devices, and I felt a stronger connection with them as a result.
My daughters also noticed the change, which further motivated me. “I do like it,” my younger daughter remarked recently. “I feel more connected. I can’t tell your emotions when you’re talking to me while on your computer.”
My older daughter added, “When it makes more of a difference is when I ask you a question because it feels like you’re paying more attention, even if you were listening the same amount while looking at your phone.”
The modern French philosopher Simone Weil once said, “Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity,” encapsulating the significance of this opportunity.
This small self-imposed challenge had a significant positive impact on my relationship with my daughters. Our conversations became more engaging and lengthier. It was the only month-long resolution I continued past the initial period, though I gradually became less stringent as many resolutions tend to fade without becoming habits.
Now that my kids are 12 and 17, they have their own screens, unlike during my initial experiment. Setting a good example of healthy technology habits is even more crucial to prevent screens from becoming all-consuming distractions hindering meaningful communication.
Recent research supports this concept, showing that parental screen use in front of children is linked to increased overall screen time and problematic use of social media, video games, and mobile phones in young adolescents.
If you aim to positively influence your children’s screen habits beyond just enforcing rules or limits, one effective approach is to model the desired behavior when you are with them, according to researchers.
“My experiment was setting a good example,” my older daughter admitted, acknowledging her own need to improve her phone habits. This realization reinforces my commitment to being more present with my family, setting a positive example, and being mindful of when I truly need to be on a screen.
Therefore, I
More important than anything I’m looking at on a screen. I even announce it sometimes, so they know. While I was writing this column, my older daughter came downstairs and said, “I have a question for you.” “I’m closing my laptop so I can fully hear it!” I happily replied, which made her laugh, and I assume appreciate the gesture. The first month isn’t even over, and we’re already enjoying the benefits of this one small thing I’m committing to all year. Ready to do more? Sign up for our Stress, But Less newsletter to help reduce your stress and improve your mood in 2025. If you need help sustaining your new resolutions, try these tips for building habits. For more CNN news and newsletters, create an account at CNN.com.
