Shari Franke, the daughter of Ruby Franke, the YouTube family vlogger who faced a scandal, has released her memoir titled “The House of My Mother” in which she shares her perspective on the events. The book, which includes memories, reflections, and journal entries, is now available from Simon & Schuster.
In August 2023, Ruby Franke, the creator of the “8 Passengers” channel, was arrested after one of her sons was found with duct tape around his wrists and ankles, seeking help from a neighbor for food and water. She later pleaded guilty to four counts of second-degree child abuse and received a prison sentence of one to fifteen years per count.
Jodi Hildebrandt, Ruby’s business partner, faced the same charges and sentence. Hildebrandt, a former mental health counselor, was involved in the controversial counseling business ConneXions Classroom, which was criticized online for extreme parenting methods.
Now 21 years old, Shari Franke is shedding light on the abuse she endured under what she describes as a “malignant narcissist,” and discusses her family’s healing process. Here are some of the key revelations from her memoir:
1. Abuse in the Franke household began before Jodi Hildebrandt’s involvement. Evidence from Ruby Franke’s arrest revealed disturbing practices, including forcing her children to sleep on hard floors, locking them in a bunker, and other forms of mistreatment. Shari’s memoir describes the abuse she and her siblings endured, including physical punishment and extreme disciplinary measures.
2. Shari Franke alleges that Ruby’s abuse conditioned her for further mistreatment by an older church member. In the memoir, Shari recounts a disturbing relationship with an older man from her church, referred to as “Derek,” who sexually assaulted her during her time at Brigham Young University. She details how he manipulated and controlled her, claiming to be preparing her for marriage.
Shari’s memoir delves into the traumatic experiences she faced and her journey towards healing and recovery.
The permission to “enter and participate in temple ceremonies” was revoked for a month. Derek did not face any punishment, according to her account. She asserts that Ruby’s emotional abuse prepared her for Derek’s behavior, stating that Ruby instilled in her feelings of intense guilt, shame, and self-loathing. This conditioning came to the forefront when she faced the consequences of her actions with Derek.
Jodi strategically created divisions within the Franke family. Hildebrandt initially joined the family as a therapist for Chad, who was going through a rebellious phase. Shari notes that Jodi was highly regarded in the Utah Church of Latter-day Saints community as a “miracle worker.” Eventually, Jodi transitioned to becoming a coach for Shari after Ruby pointed out her perceived lack of empathy and compassion. Shari claims that Jodi pressured her to excessively analyze her personality, fostering her inner critic and leading her to doubt herself.
Shari recounts how Jodi specialized in influencing wives to separate from their husbands, using ConneXions language to justify isolation. This ultimately resulted in Kevin being asked to leave the family along with Chad. Shari herself took action by contacting child services after discovering that Ruby had left the younger children unsupervised for five days. This led to Ruby cutting ties with Shari, labeling her a “traitor” and a “Judas.”
Jodi and Ruby’s relationship evolved into late-night secretive behavior reminiscent of teenagers, with Jodi moving into the Franke household before Kevin, Chad, and Shari were cut off. Shari describes witnessing unsettling scenes of intimacy between her mother and Jodi in her former bedroom, suggesting a private hypocrisy in contrast to their public condemnation of queerness.
The narrative delves into the intersection of LDS values and the tradition of family vlogging. Shari highlights the alignment between family vlogging and LDS principles, emphasizing the church’s objective of sharing teachings, attracting new members, and maintaining family records. As the “8 Passengers” vlog gained popularity and financial success, Ruby’s narcissistic tendencies were further fueled by the supportive comments and admiration from viewers.
Ruby launched her own YouTube channel at a time when her siblings were already generating income as mommy bloggers. “You couldn’t even sneeze without it being captured from various angles,” Shari noted in her writings. From a tender age, Shari grasped that the only way to garner her mother’s affection was through active participation, as she candidly revealed. This realization led her to establish her vlog channel, where she produced content centered around personal grooming and menstruation topics because she understood that it was financially lucrative. Shari disclosed that her mother claimed a 10% share of her earnings. Ruby, on the other hand, documented moments of vulnerability, such as filming herself while battling mono, receiving instructions on how to pose to appear as if on her “deathbed,” and even halting en route to urgent care to film a celebratory segment upon reaching a million subscribers.
Reflecting on her past experiences, Shari has openly discussed feeling exploited as a part of a family vlogging enterprise. She testified before Utah lawmakers, emphatically asserting that the concept of a morally sound family vlogger is a fallacy. In her testimony, she emphasized the ethical dilemmas inherent in exploiting intimate family moments for public consumption.
In recognition of the importance of mental health and well-being, resources are available for those facing challenges or in distress. Assistance can be accessed by calling or texting 988, or by engaging in a chat at 988lifeline.org. For individuals impacted by sexual violence, RAINN’s National Sexual Assault Hotline offers confidential support around the clock in English and Spanish at 800.656.HOPE (4673) and Hotline.RAINN.org, with additional resources available at RAINN.org/es.
Clare Mulroy, USA TODAY’s Books Reporter, is dedicated to covering noteworthy book releases, engaging in conversations with authors, and exploring the diverse landscape of literature. Connect with her on Instagram, peruse her recent articles, or share your current reading interests by reaching out to cmulroy@usatoday.com. Contributions to this article were made by Mary Walrath-Holdridge.
The original version of this article was published on USA TODAY, shedding light on the impactful revelations within Shari Franke’s memoir, particularly regarding the alleged abuse depicted in ‘8 Passengers’.
